10 Simple Anger Management Tips
Has someone advised you to learn some anger management tips? Perhaps you know a coworker or family member that needs to learn something about adult anger management. Managing anger can pose quite a challenge to those who lack self-discipline or struggle with emotional problems. But there’s hope for people who can benefit from anger management tips when stress levels skyrocket and threaten to explode.
1. Slow down
Often when people get angry they ratchet up their activities, which makes them feel even angrier. They speak, drive, and move quickly in response to the fight-or-flight syndrome caused by increased adrenaline from an emotional or physical trigger. In picking up the pace, people sometimes forget to slow down and deal with corresponding issues one at a time. Instead, they jump into an argument looking for blood. The next time you get heated and ready to quarrel, force yourself to slow your pace and calmly assess the situation. Then you may feel calmer when it’s time to take action.
2. Step back.
When you get involved in a dilemma, a typical reaction is to try and jump in and put out the fire. But your best course of action could be to step back and reflect on what’s going on. Don’t rush to respond in a way that could escalate tensions or provoke an offensive response. Let others present have their say and try to understand all the perspectives before taking your turn to offer an opinion. Try to view the facts objectively by seeing the “big picture” when you sidestep the immediate feelings of anger that may be sabotaging your communication.
3. Take a break.
There are times when stepping back may not be enough. Stress may be igniting several people’s emotions to create a confusing situation. This would be the perfect opportunity to suggest that the group, or people involved, take a break. Depending on the size of the problem and the time remaining for discussion, the break could last just five minutes to cool everyone down, or the meeting may need to be rescheduled, by which time everyone should be in better control of their mood and will have had time to think about the problem at hand.
4. Rewind the situation.
When you start feeling hot under the collar, think back on what led you to this state. Was it something a person said? Could it be a past problem triggered by a current issue? Give yourself time to consider why you feel upset and what you should do to handle it in the most effective and appropriate way. You may have to replay the scenario a few times to understand why it impacted you negatively and fueled your rage. This may help you avoid a similar anger reaction in the future.
5. Breathe deeply.
Sometimes a physical break can be helpful, too. Pause in your response to slowly take a deep breath, releasing it slowly, as well.
Focusing on your breathing will deflect negative energy to a positive action, with helpful results, as deep breathing can lower blood pressure by a few points. You may want to look at a distant object, like a view through a window or a picture hanging on the wall, to disconnect from the circumstances that upset you. If there are other people around you, do this discreetly or excuse yourself for a short break and try your deep breathing exercise there.
6. Walk about.
If possible, try walking for a few minutes to work off anger rather than take it out on someone. Walk the dog, stroll around the block, or head off toward the water cooler to stretch your legs. Your anger will drain somewhat in response to the energy and attention required to move around. Avoid walking tensely or very rapidly, which may actually feed anger in some individuals, especially if you continue brooding on the source of your tension while walking. If you can get in the habit of taking 30-minute walks several times a week, your overall state of mind may improve and you could experience fewer, less intense bouts of anger. As always, check with your doctor before beginning a new level of exercise or activity.
7. Vent to a friend.
When you can arrange it, vent your angry feelings to a close friend or confidante.
You can do this by telephone, letter, or email (not on an employer’s computer), or have coffee to share your emotions. If human ears aren’t available, write your negative thoughts in a personal journal. Simply getting them out in words or writing can make you feel a whole lot better, even if the problem remains unsolved. Be ready to listen to others vent on occasion, too, which not only helps them but can put your troubles into perspective, in many cases generating gratitude for your seemingly easier situation.
8. Listen first, and then speak.
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—to listen twice as much as we speak. When you begin getting mad at someone, take time to listen to what the other person has to say. Make sure you understand that person’s viewpoint. In fact, it might be a good idea for you to repeat it back to make sure you get the point. Only then, when you have processed that information and reined in your emotions, should you offer a reply. Listening skills play a significant role in adult anger management.
9. Get a pet.
If you can’t keep goldfish at the office, think about getting a puppy or kitten for home. Of course, a goldfish, canary, or hamster will work just fine, too.
The point is that keeping a pet with which you interact can actually make you feel calmer. A pet gives you a sense of responsibility and shared companionship. Your overall well being will improve, helping you to go with the flow of negative work situations or relationship issues. Managing anger becomes more important when you have a dependent animal to look after.
10. Smile.
That’s right—just smile. Try it now and hold it for five seconds. It’s kind of hard to stay upset, isn’t it? Smiling is one of the best and most affordable anger management tips because you can do it anytime, almost anywhere, and to pretty much anyone. In return, you will feel better for helping someone else feel good. The next time you get angry, try a friendly smile of understanding, appreciation, or patience as you listen to the other side of the story. Give a real smile—not a sarcastic or pretend grin. You will be surprised how easy it is to stop being mad and get into a better mood.
Adult anger management is an important skill for the professional realm as well as for personal relationships. Managing anger—or not—plays a vital role in career success and family health.
If you or someone you know struggles with managing anger, try these tips or pass them along to someone who might be interested. The world would be a happier and safer place if people learn more about anger management tips and put them to use, helping themselves or others when the going gets tough.
How Would You React in a Crisis?
If a disaster struck, would you run screaming for the hills or would you deal with the situation in a calm, composed manner? From earthquakes to wasp stings to car mishaps, a crisis could happen anytime. Take this quiz to find out how you would handle an emergency.
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